Regret or remorse

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Transition due to regret

Regret can shape the personality of an individual and bring transition in ones path. One of my friends, Mr.MMS had started his own business in a city nearby his village. It was a shop to sell clothes. He was new to the business. After graduation, when he failed to get a job the shop was opened in a rented business premises in the market. Salesmanship was required to succeed in the new business and he was untrained. That's why, the customers could not be satisfied by Mr.MMS as per the job and he suffered a loss after sometime. However, he closed the business.He went to the capital of the country and worked as a private employee. There he took admission in marketing management as a private candidate simultaneously. On completion of marketing management he returned to his place and opened a shop of the chemist with the assistance of a pharmacist. In short,he has earned a lot of money, purchased his own house and shop plus opened a new business with the help of his younger brother. His son is now the pharmacist. It`s the power of regret. Regret studies were undertaken by Colleen Saffrey, Amy Summerville, and Neal J. Roese. Praise for regret: People value regret above other negative emotions. There are more psychological benefits of regret than other emotions. Two studies of regret experiences reveal that these experiences are largely favorable rather than unfavorable. Study 1. Concluded that regret, but not other negative emotions was dominated by positive more than negative evaluations.

In both studies participants found a great deal of benefit from negative emotions, but regret proved particularly beneficial. In study 2. Regret was proved to be the most beneficial of 12 negative emotions on all five functions of : making sense of past experiences, facilitating approach behaviour, facilitating avoidance behavior, gaining insights into the self, and in preserving social harmony. Moreover, in study 2. People made self-serving ascriptions of regret, reporting greater regret experiences for themselves than for others. In short, as stated in the abstract, people value their regrets substantially more than they do other negative emotions. Regret typically implies self-blame for unfortunate events.

Now, a set of questions: What we regret most, why we regret the things we do-and how regret can actually be a positive force in future behavior. It is our task to answer these questions earnestly. One should regret more favorably than unfavorably. Human brain shut down regret when there is nothing that can be done.

Remorse means compunction

Remorse is deep bitter regret for wrongdoing. It is compunction that means uneasiness of conscience, or feeling of regret for one’s action. From merriam webster,”It is anxiety arising from awareness of guilt compunctions of conscience. Compunction is distress of mind over an anticipated action or result.” Synonyms of compunction-misgiving, qualm, and scruple. There are many synonyms in merriam webster for compunction to choose the right one. For instance, a few are mentioned here: penitence implies sad and humble realization of and regret for one’s misdeeds, repentance adds the implication of a resolve to change, and contrition stresses the sorrowful regret that constitutes true penitence. An old proverb says,” A guilty conscience needs no accuser.” And it is true that the sting of a guilty conscience or a conscience that is provoked by the contemplation of doing something wrong can prick very hard indeed. Misgiving (feeling of) doubt, suspicion, distrust, etc. Qualm is feeling of doubt (esp about whether one is doing or has done right). It is temporary feeling of sickness in the stomach. Besides, scruple is (hesitation caused by) uneasiness of conscience if something is probed. There are two types of activities in a human brain-voluntary activity and involuntary activity. Voluntary activities are the tasks done by people physically or psychologically and involuntary activities, physiological, such as, heart beat, respiration, and pulse etc. and psychological processes, for instance, unconscious phenomena.

Unconscious phenomena

Unconscious phenomena may be the outcome of autonomic function, a physiological process primarily under the control of the autonomic nervous system. It is why, because process is any change in an object or organism, particularly a behavioral or physiological change. It is a sensation or other conscious content without reference to its context or meaning. Process is connected series of actions, changes, etc. esp such as are involuntary or unconscious. It is also series of operations deliberately undertaken. It is clear that a physiological process may bring any change in an individual`s organism, particularly a behavioral or physiological change autonomously. Besides, a sensation or other conscious content without reference to its context or meaning is the characteristic of unconscious phenomena. Moreover, physiological process paves the way for connected series of actions, changes, etc. in an involuntary or unconscious mode, due to which, regret or remorse plus all the associated things appear in the mind of an individual. The repressed or suppressed unconscious material is one part and when it comes in subconscious it becomes another part and, therefore, individual begins to live in parts, instead of living one’s life as a whole. It is not an easy task and, sometimes, it takes weeks, months, years and even decades for cognitive aspects of these. That’s why, one should not be in a hurry and be relaxed to analyse the things.

Integration of regret or remorse

Integration is the organization of parts (psychological functions) to make a functional whole. Organization of parts means put into working order, arrange in a system, or make preparations for introspection or speculation needs sincere efforts on the part of an individual to memorize the task to be done in a genuine way mentally. To make a functional whole, meaning thereby, the unconscious, subconscious, and conscious mind make one unit, that is, called head. We were taught in the classroom by putting these words on a blackboard,”Finish the half finished grief first, if not, it would occupy the mind again and again.” Integrative properties, the tendency of living systems to maintain their organization and functional integrity, are of most importance. Integrity is the quality of being unified and honest with self and others. Integration requires series of operations deliberately undertaken. It is a personality condition or condition of the entire organism in which all traits or parts work together in a smooth, coordinated whole. One must complete (something that is imperfect or incomplete) by adding parts. A person whose physical, mental, and emotional components fit together well (so that his or her behavior is normal, etc.) is called an intellectual. As a matter of fact, the human body has a very complex organization. It is a tedious job to understand or explain the complex organization because the mental state which is the result of past experiences or suppressed tendencies takes time.

Constant struggle

It is true that an individual is engaged in a constant struggle with one’s own nature, if there remains something to be gone through with the intent not to leave unfinished. In spite of that it is apparently, if one thinks so, a simple and easy task to be accomplished successfully. As a result of that many problems will be solved in trivial manner that were, seemingly, impossible. Struggle is defined variously in texts but to know your own self and your purpose in life is a struggle. When you find purpose in life struggling to achieve that is a real struggle. It may be possible that one finds oneself to be in danger of failing or being defeated. Here, the question arises,”What danger of failing or being defeated may bring or what will be the outcomes ?” It is a mental fight or very difficult task that one can do only by making a great effort. It may be a long effort to do, achieve, or deal with something that is difficult or that causes problems. Patience is needed if degree of discontentment increases or intoleration gives rise to anger. To experience difficulty and make a very great effort in order to do something if paves the way for frustration, it does mean that the drawback or setback lies in search for alternatives. Solution is to get some solace if perception of an event after its occurrence gives a clue or cue to end the struggle. At initial stages, something that is extremely hard to do or understand to achieve requires strength, skill, or ability, in that situation, try and fight very hard in order to do or get something.

Hard earned solace

It happens sometimes that the individual gets a sigh of relief from struggle and something happens to engulf in the desert of problems or a set of conditions again to discourage. One should not leave room for regret or remorse. Solace is comfort or consolation in a time of great distress or sadness. It would be a delighted state of mind if one gives a feedback.

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